La Vie Boheme

So lanst week’s I was junst siting at my househomme woching a moovy (Yant’ls again, GOD) and spindin’gs some rill gud timme with my Salf and thenckings of makking my Salf a Lounche’s Meet samwitch withe the neuw Veggijbal Lonche’s Meet thet Pat gave me in Joolie whin my househommefonne ringed a&nd it was a lokil Raydio’s stayshin! WOWOWOWOWOW

this harrymanne wint to my collijscool

The Raydio’s Manne on the fone sed thet thay had dun all kine’s a reasorche’s at the Raydio’s stayshin abute oll the Palitikil thegs I did all by my Salf win I was at Callije in Mishigin (my homme Town is Mishigin) a&nd thay were rilly sited abute having’s me comme douwn to there Raydio plase or what Evar and thay wud do a sarius Innerveiw with me.  That wont’d to tokk abute the theg I didde win I was thare in Mishigin and junst had a simpal bakke Sal’s with rill fonny cockies and sweats sheaped like bleckmanne thegs, wich I thot was rill gud and a fony joanke butte lots of bleckmannwominpeepilprafeshers and athers dint evan see the hummer in, GOD, and I gotted in rill big trubl and was anvitted to go to my collijescool sum Where alse.

So the raydiomanne axed me if I wonte’d to do this innerveiw and I junst sed yeop and he sed welp, Batt, yuou’ll nead to comme on douwn to the raydio’s stayshin on Wensday at 7′0′clack in the marnings so we canne prap yuou foar the innerveiw and so I junst sed yeop again and then he hanged up the foane.

Houw I lokked win the clack woak me opp GOD GOD GOD

On Tuewsday nite I was rilly sited!  And scarred and tauted abute my innerveiw the nakst marning’s a&nd I dint sleap a Lot hardly any rilly and so win my clack went BENG RENG BENG BOUME it strattl’d me and made me so tauted and trpdated oll att 1ce hord and fest and i wit a lil.  So I cleened opp and put the sheats and blaket and pilouws in the wasshing’s masheen and tukk my shoure and did oll that spashul bath’s roume thegs I have to do in the marning’s.  Thin I camme ouwt to the kichin to have a juince and somme breksfists but oll I hadd to eet was Roger’s plane Oath’s Meel and somme staile mashie many weet’s so I cudn’t have no breksfists GOD GOD GOD.

And Roger had laft his estragudcoalinclenzeshakke mikks in the Blander fram the weak’s end and not evan amtie’d it ouwt! It had becomme’d a rill bad steenkiehordflakkyscammyshakke in the blander and I bette my blander has to go Away nouw.  :(

I winsh I cud lokk coole win I woar cloths. liak this gerl drezed opp liak a boi. but no.

Evan tho I cudn’t have no breksfists I wint beck to my bad’s roume and got drezed (liak a boi not a gerl) and pott oan my spashil bleck peants and bloowitestrippy shert and my Mambo’s Oanliest jeckit so I wud lokk coole kine a but not rilly BUT ITS THE BAST I CAN DO GOD.

I got in my PEETEE kroos’er and storted drivving to the Raydio’s stashin win oll of a saden BENG BAM POUW a biggemeendojetrackramdoolie junst smeshed the reer end of my kroos’er rilly badde! A&nd neerlie droav rite opp OVAR my car’s but****tt (I senserd thet)!!111!!!  So I climed ouwt of my kroos’er and junst wokked to the beck of my car and thare was the biggeharriebleckmannedrivver of the track stanning thare looking oll creapie and meen at me!!! And he was a scarry rammrjammrslammr in To my PEETEE kroos’er.

boath thease mannes oar scarry to me BRRRR

His doolie track had smesh’ed my car’s bompar rite whare my Jonn Bit***rch sosiety stecker wass too and the biggeharriebleckmannedrivver was junst staring’s at thet stecker and lokking liak my Unkol Floid (hes not my rill Unkol butte a spashil frin of my mom) use’d to lokk rite befoar he didde sum Theg to me foar me beng badde.  He wass poyntings et me liak the pichoar I put in this poast egsept he totalie wasnnt waring a soot oar ty and his fase lokked moar like the othoar pichoar GOD GOD GOD HE SCARRED ME SO BADDE I CUDNT HEPP IT and I wit mysalf a lil bit.  Then the cope camme opp on a moatersikel VROUMME VROUMME and tole the biggeharriebleckmannedrivver thet it was hiss falt a&nd the sum Theg hapned a&nd the biggeharriebleckmannedrivver hadde to go to jale with the cope and I was junst laft thare all aloan.  ha Ha!

So I got in my PEETEE kroos’er agin evan tho it had a borkin bu******tt and was makking all kines a louwdklangskreachslape sounds GOD and wint ahed to driav it to the Raydio’s stashin sum Moar and thin I got thare but my nikk was horting’s nouw since the assidint with the biggeharriebleckmannedrivver’s biggemeendojetrackramdoolie.  And I was wit.  And also a lil bit hisstarrikal.

What the KPEN**US Raydio's boof wass liak egsept Amus was Ranne and Fredde was Stampie and Im notte evan in the pichoar GOD

I wint in the Raydio’s stayshin and the hoast of the shouw junst camme opp to me and shacked my handfangers hord and fest and sed Welp Batt wellcam to KPNS and I sed ummm and he slaped my beck and shaldoarnikks kine a hord OUW GOD DAMMM***MMM and sed Batt thet’s the namme of this here Raydio’s stayshin KPNS and I sed ok.  The lattors makke me thenck of the werd PEEEE***NNNNUS and he junst lokked at me and sed rite.  Thin we wint up twou flites of stares and he sed My namme is Amus and this is my poartner Fredde and Fredde slaped my shaldoarnikks too FA**CK OUW and Fredde and Amus tokked me into whet thay colld the Boof.

I also thot that Amus was a fony namme and a gud joanke but no.

This is Mishigin my hommetouwn

Fredde tole me thet the fuzziebiggemikrofoan rite in frant of me was the 1 thet I shud tok in to a&nd thet I shud onliest anser kuwestshuns thet the axed me and notte junst tok and tok abute a pear or bannannanna or whet evar and I sed yeop.  And thet thay wir gong ax me speshallie abute beng in the Yong Rapablikins and what evar win I wass in Mishigin and I sed yeop agin.

And thin Amus and Fredde stored tokking and lafftring rill hord and louwd into thare fuzziebiggemikrofoans and souwnd’ed oll difrint than win thay were junst tokking to thare salfs.  Thay were oll Ha HA ha HA! And YOUW BATCHA and THETS DAM***MMM RITE AMUS and ather waiys of tokking.  Olso thay storted rite off makking fonn of the Parasidint hord and fest!  wOWOWOWOwow!!11!!  And that tokked and lafftrd for a lang time almoast tin hoal minnits win Fredde sed Welp lissenoars, we have Us a spashul gest in the Boof today houw akshallie can tokk to us abute our bleckmanne parasidint and whet a badde manne he is or what Evar a&nd I was thencking WHAT WHAT the parasidint is a biggemeenharriescarrybleckmanne I dint even no thet GOD GOD GOD WHY AM I SO DUMM ABUTE BLECKMANNEPARISDENTS??!!!!

Ouwr Parasident thet I dint evan no abute

And Fredde and Amus then wir stil junst tokking and tokking abute me a&nd Mishigin and the simpal bakke Sal’s with rill fonny cockies and sweats sheaped like bleckmanne thegs, butte oll I cud thenck abute wass houw I dint woch any teevee neuws shows oar any Theg EVAR junst woched Yent’ls and Soffy’s Choinse and sum Timmes evan Rokkie 3 and dint no the parasidint wass a biggemeenharriescarrybleckmanne and I falt stuped and streemlie trpdtd and horted in my branes and horts.

Amus axxed me Welp Batt tell us abute that simpal bakke Sal’s with rill fonny cockies and sweats sheaped like bleckmanne thegs.  And I was so fracctimmd thet I tryd to tokk butte nathing wud evan comme ouwt and Amus lokked at me and thin at Fredde and he axxed me agin and I tryd extra hord to speeck but no.  I tryd so hord I wit a lil AGIN and thin Amus junst sed into the fuzziebiggemikrofoans ha Ha it lokks liak the catte muss have Batts TONG ha Ha Ha and thay boath lafftrd at me and I tornd redde as a beat or a cabbij and junst jomprd opp and ranned ouwt of the boof.

I wint oll the way douwn to my oan Carr and junst droav home.  Winth the Raydio off.

I winsh I had junst stayd at my househomme and ated the notrillyvarygudmeets.  GOD GOD GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!