La Vie Boheme

So a few day’s ago I was just siting my chare at home and just eeting some salt tean’s creckur’s and chease for as a snnack and then my tella phone reng and I piked it up and it was a totally meen saunding laddy from the umploymint’s ofase! And she sed hello is this Batt and I just said yeop and then she sed hello this is Jen from the amplyment’s ofase or some thing, she toked rilly fast and I cu’dnt rilly here just wat she was seying and it mede me nervis and swaty! And then she sed Batt have you faund a Job yet and I just sed no becuase I ha’nt even locked for 1 yet. But she dint no that and then she sed well we faund a maching jobwork’s amplyment for you to go and get have a inner view’s with and just said ummm and she sed well Batt you are skedjool’d for this inner view’s at tamarrow at 3 O clack at ricky drive and then she geve me the odres and she toked totally fast and so I sed umm culd you set it agin and salower and that I think mede her rilly mad at me and she sed it agin in a slow meen way and I dint like it! But I rote down the plase and the timme of it and sed ummm so do I nead to go or what ever becuase I do’nt no if I wont to but she totally cutt me of and I dint evan get to just sey all that and she sed well sirr if you do’nt try to fine a job we wo’nt be peying you your umployment’s chex no more and I woted to sey oh so I will nead to do it too get the munneychekx’s but the words totally wu’dnt come out becuase I was to nervis and tauted! And she sed ok sir your inner view’s is set and she sed some ather theng’s that I forget and then she hung of the phone and I hung of my phone. And then I was rilly bad fealing for the ress of the day and rilly nervis and ashamed and fealing rilly totally scarred abbout the inner’s view and I hatted it! GOD!

And then the nex day came a raund and I ha’dnt evan ben able to sleap good becuase of how bad and titled I totally falt abbout the inner view comming up and so I got up and just dreck cranbarry juice and wotched some Herald and Mod and all most wotched Yentl but dacided not too becuase I was to nervis to pey atenshing to it. And I litt a barry sentid candel to halp me colm dawn and it totally dint evan help me.

And then it came to be around 2.30 o clack and I got my cloths on and woar a pear of slock’s and a drez shert and a clep on TY and then woked down my stares to my car and got in and stored to drove to the inner view’s plase and I was all flasterd and ashamed and swety and I hatted it! And then I all most got their accept I relized I fargot my resomay back at my hous and dint evan have time to tern a raund and go gett it and I hatted that and it just mede me totally evan more nervis and titled and and then I rilly had to pe. And so I gott to the plase and woked in the dore’s and went in an allivater and got too a flore and went in anather dore and then a big tall strong power full harry man ceme out and sed hello sir and I just sed ummm can I use your toylet and he sed uh sure the rast’s room is to your leff. And so I went down their and felt rilly bad becuase I new I totally mede a rilly rilly horble forst ampreshing with this man and I hatted that because now he will totally thenk I all way’s have to pe.

And then in the bath’s room I was ziping up my slack’s after I ped and the pantwaist ziper totally poped of and broke!! And the lil ziper tagghandel went all over the flore and got totaly lose in a stoll and I cu’dnt reech it! And so I had a rilly big big porblem with my peant’s becuase my ziper was totally Open and totally axxxpozing my boxer’s breefs oh no GOD wy did I ware red one’s I do’nt even NO GOD GOD GOD!!! And but so I still hed to do the inner view’s sense they wuld stop geveing me munneychek’s if I dint and so that was rilly terble and I locked at my self in the meer and I was all red and swety and tauted and locked rilly bad but I toled my self of with a papper toal and then was ebble to hold my ziper  cloas if I stode up rilly tal and woked in a rilly toll stret way and so I did that. And I came woking back out and woked rilly tal and the big scarry hary man was whating for me their and I dradded and hatted it! And he stode up and shoke my heand and I gess naticed that I was sanding funny and so he sed sir is avery thing ok and I just sed yeop. And then we want and set down in a big rom and he toked to me abbout some theng’s about what they did and whatever but I just dint evan rilly pey atenshin sense I was to nervis and scarred. And then he axed me some qeshnins and I totally bok********ctched them and it was so bad and I hatted hatted hatted it GOD! And then the inner view’s was don and I got to leafve and so I did and went back to my househomme.

And then I gott home and rilly wonted some whatermellon after my or deel accept I was evan to scarred to leave my househomme then or evan go any ware and so I just went to eet some canterlope accept Roger had did some thing rilly horble to my last canterlope win he was at my hous last time and I dint even discrover him as haveing did that until now and it scarred me evan more and I hatted it! And so I went and set down and just et some prazels and wotched Yentil but I dint evan like it. GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD!