La Vie Boheme

Last night’s I wass just siting on my soafa wotch’ing a ball’s roume dansing compatishun (I wish’ed I cud ball’s roome danse butt I get all toungue’s tyed an ca’nt evur axx any one’s to danse GOD) whin I notissed that it was rilly rilly late (liak it was all reddy 11 P. M’s) so I just went’ed to bed. I bursshed my teefs and did other prievit bath’s roume thing’s and went totaly to slepe.

Thin in the midle of the nite’s I was woke’d up cuz I fealt this pressense in my roomes! At first I just NEW it was a gost wich scarred me so bad I had a varry litle but varry bad sheet’s assident!!!! But thin I gott’ed to snifing and smeleing and I cud tell it was Roger! Roger why you in my hause and in my bed’s roume! I axxed rele nice (cuz I din’t want to scarr him too) and he jsut lafftred rilly meen and awfull at me. And next thing’s I new I wass havin’g a rilly badd time.

The nexxt’s morning’s I woked up late butt thank Fully I do’nt hav a joerb rite now so I wass’nt late or any’s thing but whin I wint to the kichhen to the refiggerater to just get some jouce, there was’nt nun their at all and acshually my aigs and froot’s were gone too. That must have been Roger purtending to be a birglr dur’ing his bigg funy jokke last nite he is so funy whin he makke’s thees bigg jokke’s. So I just ated a bnanana and I hatted it!

Thin I wint back ovar to my soafa and sat down too hord and OUW OUW GOD NO GOD NO ROGER OUW it HORTED so BAD and I had to go to my man’s roume and makke the hourting stope for a whil.  GOD! I do’nt’ed eevan no why it horted all suddun like that but it did.

A bowt ellevven A. M.’s Roger called and axxed me if I thot his fakke’d breaked in to my haouse was funy and I just said yeop Roger that was a rilly funy jokke and tryed to lafftred but nuthing would com out so I just said Ha like that Ha.  And Roger sed You do’nt soun liak you thot it was varry funy you st******ooped bi**********ch (I totaly sensrd taht 2 wice!) and I just sed that it was rilly scarrry brrrrrrrrr and then Roger droped the subjick and want’ed to no what I was goi’ng to makke him for his launch and then he lafftrd some moore be cawse he new I dint have any pot’s in my cup’s bord cauws he takke’d most of thim whein he birgld me GOD GOD GOD !!!!

So Roger camed to my hause agin at twelve:30 and maded me takke him to Piepie’s Fry”d Chykken’s and maded me by him launch and on the way back to my hause me wiped his greezy handfanger’s on my car’s seat’s GOD.     

And now I am back’ed home with my doar dubble lockk’ed to keap out Roger so he hass to NOCK first liak a good Cristuyin insted of just BARGGING IN but then latter I fealt bad abowt lokking Roger owt liak that and undid just 1 of the loks.  Brrrr.