About how I gott sroched rilly bad by my land lord laddys catte!! (Bad)
What my land lord laddys cat mede me feal like!!!!
So I was jusnt cleneing my land lord laddy’s portch necks to my portch a&nd her cat ceme up and junst clode and sroched me on the arm’s and heand’s!!! I hadd to pout a bonch of nospororen or whatever on it to keap it from geting andfecketed. I hatted it!!! GOD! GOD! GOD!!!!
How thegs have ben gong lattely for me (bad)
Welp not a lott has chadged sense my last poanst wich I gess was abbout a yeer or so aggo. (I for gott to chack the poastdettes beforer I stortid this new poast hear.) Any wey theg’s have been gong prety wel lattely accept I code not fine a job for my salf and so Ive been abble to live by junst dong choares for my land lord laddy a&nd wosheng Rogers car for sanmwitches and peying my biles winth halp from my mom and from my dad wo lives in arazona and from muneychecks from well’fair becuase they sed I was a porminent badd job fainder not huntter or some theg, I do’nt no??
So any wey the hole theg abbout jobbs mede me feal rilly bad and dume. And then Roger ceme over the othater dey and junst mede me wosh his car agin evan tho I junst did yasterdey so he wode teck me to subbaways or Orbeys or mebbe evan pixadileys were lasnt timme he mede me git a to spiacey boredo a&nd it borned my throte accept Roger mede me fanesh it oll and punt my hole maunch araund it as a funy joanke. 
But any wey I wasnhed Rogers car and all so vackyoumed the insidde seets and dreck hoals and corpetbordes accept I socked 1 of Rogers penns up in the vackyou hoze as I was dong thet!!! So Roger mede me go and barow munney from my land lord laddy ( 5$) a&nd draive him too the stoare to by him a peck of 10 new penn’s from Bestby, GOD!!! A&nd it mede me feal dume and stuped like a dume tellatobbey or a iddeit stuped babby.
Any wey affter I did thet Roger sed ok batt timme to teetch you to be a Man. a&nd I sed ok thet saunds like a prety good theg and he sed You bet yo’ure as****ss it is you freilty frodjle tauted bet*****tich a&nd he slaped me as a joanke. So then he piked up 1 of my cochcoshines from my coch and sed ok Batt teck you’re best hitt at me. So I swong and Roger doged and I all most lonst my ballendce and fale down on the flore all most. (I dint actally fall). Then Roger laffed and hit me winth the coshine and mede me try agin, and he dogdged 1 more timme and this time I rilly did fal a&nd he droped the coshine on my hed and junst set on it and laffed and I coden’t evan breath for like a miniit. GOD!!
Then he got upp and toald me to git up qick or he wode do it agin so I got up fest. Then he sed ok now try to hitt and step forerd so you will be forerd when you hitt the coshine. And so I did accept my fote got cott on my cofee’s tabble and I all most feal on it accept I dint. So then Roger mede me smale his ormpitt for a minnit as a joanke, wow!!
Then he lett me try agin a&nd I steped forerd a&nd sortda hit the coshine winth my palm’s a feo timmes and Roger sed wow now your geting the hage of my a&nd I sed rilly and he sed no and nocked me down and did a rilly bad but rilly fonny theg as a joanke too me!!!
Thun I gess Rager was done winth the bocksing sense he gott a can of his greapfroot juince out of my feidge (he keaps it their a&nd wont lett me have anny) then he opand it up and wocked at me a&nd I falt weeered! Thun he dreck some and mede me neal daun a&nd then he pored the jounce in my ey’s a&nd I hatted it!!! GOD! GOD! GOD!!!
What happend winth my Mathers’day shopeng! (Bad)
How my compuer was
So I have not ben abble to poanst updetes in my blogs in awile becuase of lot’s of thegs that have ben hapening, andcludeng my compuer broke wen I was poasteng pictcures of my salf on Bebo and sodently my key’s board boke and stoped working at all. So I had to wate and then by a new key’s board at Bestby sense Curcot City is cloased and I bot it and it dint work and then it torned out it was a porblem winth my innernet cabbles or some theg and a gy from Compast had to comme to my househomme and ficks it and he thaunt it was broke becuase I had spiled a dreck on my desnk accept it was becuase my key’s borde was evan pludged inn to the rong spot, it was pludged inn too my manuter. Wihch is were I thaunt thew new spote for the new key’sbored was. How was I sposed to no thet the brane of the compuer was in the pourbox on the graund andsted of the big maniter’screan, GOD!!!
How Roger was too me about the locks fish or whatever
How I falt!!!!
Any wey and thet was back around Chrismas and I wa’snt evan abble too go to chrismas’es diner becuase I got Sick. And I theck I was junst thet becuase Roger mede me eet some Locks sammin’fish on christmas’eave thet I dint want but he sed it was a Trandishin too junst do thet and my mom yeled at me and toald me too do wat Roger sed too do and so I did. And so I got sick and spant chrstmas by my salf and junst wached Yentil or whatever.
Roger toald me if I dreck enouh Milk i can lock like this Musleman
Any wey yasterday I was siting and wocheng Tv and drecking a big glas of milk and snecking on some prazels wile I was wateng for Amerian Idoles to common and I sow an add tockeng abbout Mather’s dey and how it was comming up soon or whatever and how there was a spachel prize deal porchase on a set of 15 rosis and a glas Voz to pout them in and I wontid to by thet for my mom so she wuld not hatte me on mathers dey agin or whatever. Then I ramembered thet Amerian Idoles dint common until 9 or whatever and so I dacided to go too Krogger (the plase that was addvertising the rosis and voz) and bott the rosis and Voz winth some monney from my check’s card and got it from a meen laddy who I theck totally hatted thet I was bying junst thet or whatever accept I was junst quite and pade for my thegs and I all so bot a can of frozzin cranbarry juince micks and a pake of hoddogs and a bocks of Mackeroni’s and Chease for dinner thet nite sense I wontid cheasy’weners or whatever.
And so I brot the rosis and voz in to my kichen and all most cut my heand’s tring to trime the rosis so they culd fit in the voz winthout mecking it fale over or whatever and I totally runed 2 of the rosis and so their was only 10 laft and I thaunt there was sposed to be 15 tottal and so I was sharted by 3 rosis and I wontid too go beck to Krogger and get my extrea rosis from the laddy thet I was sposed to get accept I dint becuase I was to tauted and afred too junst do thet. Any wey so I finely got the rosis in the Voz and filed it winth some whatter and the poudered plent’food micks from the pakit thet ceme winth the rosis and pout it their too geve to my Mom.
I falt junst like the Man in the midle who is cring becuase the other Men are puling a meen joanke on him
And then the tella’phone rang and it was Roger caleing seying the he was gong to comme over to my househomme in a few minits and he had a weakend treet for me or whatever. And I sed ok cool Roger thet sounds good and roger sed yeop batt you bett it’s gong to be a rilly big suprise for you and I was excited and wow!!! And so Roger ceme over and was cereying a big Wuppy Cushen thet mede forteng saund’s wen you sqeazed it or set down on it and it was’nt rilly thet grate of a saprise sense Roger junst kept baloweng it up and seting it down on the flore or cauch or my kichen’rugg and nockeng or hiting me down and mecking me fall on it and it mede a fort’saund and Roger sed it saunded like I was she******iteng my peant’s avery timme he nocked me dawn and accept 1 time he poshed me rilly hord and fest and I ascksally did have a rilly small but pretty bad peant’s accident in my short’s but I was junst quite and dint sey anytheg! god! Accept it was prolly a funy and rilly good joanke or whatever sense Roger is a rilly funy persin.
What happened and How it was about my Hellowean (bad)
How I falt!!!!
Welp this year araund I was prolly pretty exited about Hello’wean or whatever and beng able to have a good porty and junst cutt lose a lil bit and have fun winth my frind’s but no. And I all ready di’nt like hellowean very much becuase it is a Devel holladay and not a good time and peepoal like satin on thet day or whatever any wey thet is wat Paster chet toald me about it and so I gess Im sposed to hatte it or whatever but so I dint no wat to theck and I was rilly tauted and terble fealeing becuase I was exited but also scered an fealeng bad about it! GOD!!
How Roger was too me!!!
A&nd so any wey it was a dey or 2 before hellowean or whatever and I was junst siting in my househomme finsheng up a battik I was dong for my land lord laddy who meck’s me do battikes and wansh her cloth’s and do other secrat thegs for her so I can life in my househomme and not got to pay any reant becuase the peeopal at the umploymet’s office stoped sendeng me munny chec’xs and al I gott now is food’s stemps and munney from walfaires becuase I ca’nt fined a job at all totally. SO any wey I was siting their dong thet and Roger shaowed up and kiked my dore and then opand it and ceme in and sed Welp batt wat are you dong. And I sed oh hi Roger Im just rapeing up a battik or whatever hear and then he laffed and caled me a sesy tauted fa*******dget and pratendid too pore the bottul of battik’s ink on my head or whatever but he actally dint do thet and then he wint in the kichen and mede me sock on a sellery stock from some sellery I had bot at krogger and I dint like thet evan tho it was a good and funny joanke.
How i Winsh my portys wuld be, GOD GOD GOD!!!!!!
And thin Roger sed Batt were gong to have a blolout of a Hello’wean porty hear at your househomme and I just sed ok and he sed Batt are you exited and I sed yeop evan tho I wa’snt becuase all porty’s at my househomme all wey’s wined up with me geting hort or woondid or some 1 througheng up on my cauncth or chare but I pratendid too be exited any wey.
Now their is a WWW2 moovy on hisotry chanel abbout Hitt’lor and Im gong to wach it but I will rite more latter.
About how I gott finde (bad)
How the cope locked
So any wey I was junst siting in my househomme a few dey’s ago and their came a NOCK NOCK NOCK on my dore laud. And I gott up too see who it was and I thaunt it wuld be Roger or mebbe Pat or some 1 but no. It was a cope, GOD GOD GOD. I opand the dore and beforre I culd sey a word the cope sed Are you batt and I just sed yeop.
GOD GOD GOD I winsh I culd of junst crupled up the papper like this GOD
And then the cope locked in my ey’s and sed Sirr you are beng chordged winth a late fine chordge for junst not peying yo’ure tacket or whatever and I gott rill scarred and asked the cope if I was gong to have to go too jale or junst get tecken to the Polise stashin or mebbe get Qestined or andteroganted and I was soo tauted!!! But the cope sed no and junst hadded me a papper thet sed i hadd to go to a Cort on a sertin date, GOD GOD GOD!!!!
How the juger'man locked at me, I hatted it!!! he locked like All'mer Stooge or whatever from thet cartoone GOD
So any wey I wennt to the Cort on thet day (3 day’s from the timme the cope came) and hadd to tock to a big meen juger’man on a stend and tale abbout how I fargot and all so abbout how I wit my salf thet timme becuase the cope scarred me and so how it wa’snt my folt. But the juge stoped me and sed Thats enough yung man please stape over to the clork. And so I did and I was soo tauted and trpated junst then and I falt like poooo******ope.
Abute houw I gotted Innerveiw’d oan The Raydio’s! (ferst gud, then rilly rilly Bad)
So lanst week’s I was junst siting at my househomme woching a moovy (Yant’ls again, GOD) and spindin’gs some rill gud timme with my Salf and thenckings of makking my Salf a Lounche’s Meet samwitch withe the neuw Veggijbal Lonche’s Meet thet Pat gave me in Joolie whin my househommefonne ringed a&nd it was a lokil Raydio’s stayshin! WOWOWOWOWOW
this harrymanne wint to my collijscool
The Raydio’s Manne on the fone sed thet thay had dun all kine’s a reasorche’s at the Raydio’s stayshin abute oll the Palitikil thegs I did all by my Salf win I was at Callije in Mishigin (my homme Town is Mishigin) a&nd thay were rilly sited abute having’s me comme douwn to there Raydio plase or what Evar and thay wud do a sarius Innerveiw with me. That wont’d to tokk abute the theg I didde win I was thare in Mishigin and junst had a simpal bakke Sal’s with rill fonny cockies and sweats sheaped like bleckmanne thegs, wich I thot was rill gud and a fony joanke butte lots of bleckmannwominpeepilprafeshers and athers dint evan see the hummer in, GOD, and I gotted in rill big trubl and was anvitted to go to my collijescool sum Where alse.
So the raydiomanne axed me if I wonte’d to do this innerveiw and I junst sed yeop and he sed welp, Batt, yuou’ll nead to comme on douwn to the raydio’s stayshin on Wensday at 7′0′clack in the marnings so we canne prap yuou foar the innerveiw and so I junst sed yeop again and then he hanged up the foane.
Houw I lokked win the clack woak me opp GOD GOD GOD
On Tuewsday nite I was rilly sited! And scarred and tauted abute my innerveiw the nakst marning’s a&nd I dint sleap a Lot hardly any rilly and so win my clack went BENG RENG BENG BOUME it strattl’d me and made me so tauted and trpdated oll att 1ce hord and fest and i wit a lil. So I cleened opp and put the sheats and blaket and pilouws in the wasshing’s masheen and tukk my shoure and did oll that spashul bath’s roume thegs I have to do in the marning’s. Thin I camme ouwt to the kichin to have a juince and somme breksfists but oll I hadd to eet was Roger’s plane Oath’s Meel and somme staile mashie many weet’s so I cudn’t have no breksfists GOD GOD GOD.
And Roger had laft his estragudcoalinclenzeshakke mikks in the Blander fram the weak’s end and not evan amtie’d it ouwt! It had becomme’d a rill bad steenkiehordflakkyscammyshakke in the blander and I bette my blander has to go Away nouw. 
:(
I winsh I cud lokk coole win I woar cloths. liak this gerl drezed opp liak a boi. but no.
Evan tho I cudn’t have no breksfists I wint beck to my bad’s roume and got drezed (liak a boi not a gerl) and pott oan my spashil bleck peants and bloowitestrippy shert and my Mambo’s Oanliest jeckit so I wud lokk coole kine a but not rilly BUT ITS THE BAST I CAN DO GOD.
I got in my PEETEE kroos’er and storted drivving to the Raydio’s stashin win oll of a saden BENG BAM POUW a biggemeendojetrackramdoolie junst smeshed the reer end of my kroos’er rilly badde! A&nd neerlie droav rite opp OVAR my car’s but****tt (I senserd thet)!!111!!! So I climed ouwt of my kroos’er and junst wokked to the beck of my car and thare was the biggeharriebleckmannedrivver of the track stanning thare looking oll creapie and meen at me!!! And he was a scarry rammrjammrslammr in To my PEETEE kroos’er.
boath thease mannes oar scarry to me BRRRR
His doolie track had smesh’ed my car’s bompar rite whare my Jonn Bit***rch sosiety stecker wass too and the biggeharriebleckmannedrivver was junst staring’s at thet stecker and lokking liak my Unkol Floid (hes not my rill Unkol butte a spashil frin of my mom) use’d to lokk rite befoar he didde sum Theg to me foar me beng badde. He wass poyntings et me liak the pichoar I put in this poast egsept he totalie wasnnt waring a soot oar ty and his fase lokked moar like the othoar pichoar GOD GOD GOD HE SCARRED ME SO BADDE I CUDNT HEPP IT and I wit mysalf a lil bit. Then the cope camme opp on a moatersikel VROUMME VROUMME and tole the biggeharriebleckmannedrivver thet it was hiss falt a&nd the sum Theg hapned a&nd the biggeharriebleckmannedrivver hadde to go to jale with the cope and I was junst laft thare all aloan. ha Ha!
So I got in my PEETEE kroos’er agin evan tho it had a borkin bu******tt and was makking all kines a louwdklangskreachslape sounds GOD and wint ahed to driav it to the Raydio’s stashin sum Moar and thin I got thare but my nikk was horting’s nouw since the assidint with the biggeharriebleckmannedrivver’s biggemeendojetrackramdoolie. And I was wit. And also a lil bit hisstarrikal.
What the KPEN**US Raydio's boof wass liak egsept Amus was Ranne and Fredde was Stampie and Im notte evan in the pichoar GOD
I wint in the Raydio’s stayshin and the hoast of the shouw junst camme opp to me and shacked my handfangers hord and fest and sed Welp Batt wellcam to KPNS and I sed ummm and he slaped my beck and shaldoarnikks kine a hord OUW GOD DAMMM***MMM and sed Batt thet’s the namme of this here Raydio’s stayshin KPNS and I sed ok. The lattors makke me thenck of the werd PEEEE***NNNNUS and he junst lokked at me and sed rite. Thin we wint up twou flites of stares and he sed My namme is Amus and this is my poartner Fredde and Fredde slaped my shaldoarnikks too FA**CK OUW and Fredde and Amus tokked me into whet thay colld the Boof.
I also thot that Amus was a fony namme and a gud joanke but no.
This is Mishigin my hommetouwn
Fredde tole me thet the fuzziebiggemikrofoan rite in frant of me was the 1 thet I shud tok in to a&nd thet I shud onliest anser kuwestshuns thet the axed me and notte junst tok and tok abute a pear or bannannanna or whet evar and I sed yeop. And thet thay wir gong ax me speshallie abute beng in the Yong Rapablikins and what evar win I wass in Mishigin and I sed yeop agin.
And thin Amus and Fredde stored tokking and lafftring rill hord and louwd into thare fuzziebiggemikrofoans and souwnd’ed oll difrint than win thay were junst tokking to thare salfs. Thay were oll Ha HA ha HA! And YOUW BATCHA and THETS DAM***MMM RITE AMUS and ather waiys of tokking. Olso thay storted rite off makking fonn of the Parasidint hord and fest! wOWOWOWOwow!!11!! And that tokked and lafftrd for a lang time almoast tin hoal minnits win Fredde sed Welp lissenoars, we have Us a spashul gest in the Boof today houw akshallie can tokk to us abute our bleckmanne parasidint and whet a badde manne he is or what Evar a&nd I was thencking WHAT WHAT the parasidint is a biggemeenharriescarrybleckmanne I dint even no thet GOD GOD GOD WHY AM I SO DUMM ABUTE BLECKMANNEPARISDENTS??!!!!
Ouwr Parasident thet I dint evan no abute
And Fredde and Amus then wir stil junst tokking and tokking abute me a&nd Mishigin and the simpal bakke Sal’s with rill fonny cockies and sweats sheaped like bleckmanne thegs, butte oll I cud thenck abute wass houw I dint woch any teevee neuws shows oar any Theg EVAR junst woched Yent’ls and Soffy’s Choinse and sum Timmes evan Rokkie 3 and dint no the parasidint wass a biggemeenharriescarrybleckmanne and I falt stuped and streemlie trpdtd and horted in my branes and horts.
I gott cuntstapeted!! (Bad)
How my but prolly locks in it, GOD!!!
Well as you probably no if you are still readeng my blogs on a bases my thing’s are not gong so well for me. And now 1 other thing is rong too, I gott really cunstapeted (I do’nt no how to spell that) or whatever the last few dey’s and I have not po********uoped in a rilly long time! And this is not the 1ts time this hapened to me or whatever, it used to I wuld get contstapeded when I was a kid and my mom wuld have to take me to the Doctors or whatever and the doctors allways junst told her to stope her feed’ing me the food’s I aite as a kid like been’s and hoddogs and they sed not enouhe serial or whatever and I gess my mom totally hatted me or whatever becuase she kapt geveing me the food’s that mede my but hurt.
Roger
Any way and Roger is beng no help winth this eather accept to halp liten the Mode with a funny joake or 2 like tring to meck me pout theng’s up my salf to meck the cunstapating stop but it totally di’nt work. I caled the Urgant Carre phone’numbber and they told me to junst eet alot of
The loggo of Brann Serial I thenk, GOD GOD GOD it locks sooo good STUPPID KROGGER!!!!!!!
Brann and I thoute that was a kind of serial and so I went to Krogger and locked for it and evenchally asked 1 of the Krogger’workermen their if their was a serial caled Branne and did they sale it and he sed no and locked at me sortda funny and then wocked of and I culd here him snackering abbout how dumb I was to just ask that or whatever.
How Jonjon was too me!!!
And so I am in a depe problem now and I do’nt no what too do and also Jonjon ceme over last nite and toald me he new a special bleck’mans way of geting rid of cunstapetion and did I want to try it evan thogh I am totally not Bleck and I sed yeop ok I gess and then he did some theg and it just mede my bu*******t hurt more. GOD! GOD! GOD!!!!
Clammedo (Bad)
Roger junst madde me dreck a hole lardge Cann of clamedo juince and I had toylet bely all over my maggazenus and a candel on my cofee tabble. GOD GOD GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!I will rite more latter but I nead too go clene up my leveing’room and then Roger wile be beck from krogger by then
How I was
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Someone once told me I looked sort of like a younger Polish version of James Bond but I am pretty sure they were joking.
